We discuss our pens in whole or in parts. One day I’m writing about Conway Stewarts and Mabie Todds, the next it’s levers and J-bars. In the whole group of words that surround and describe fountain pens the one that annoys me most is “cap.”

Allow me to explicate. I use Dragon Naturally Speaking to transcribe my blog articles because I have a deep-seated hatred of keyboards. I’m not fond of mice either but that’s by the by. Dragon Naturally Speaking always interprets “cap” to mean capital letter, so instead of, “to replace the cap on the barrel,” I get “to replace the On the barrel,” if I am unwary, as I often am. If I was writing about cars or coins it wouldn’t matter, but any poor soul that writes about head wear and uses Dragon Naturally Speaking must suffer spasms of anxiety.

Just to be more annoying it isn’t entirely consistent. I can get away with cap ring and cap band but not cap on its own.

I imagine that it’s perfectly possible to go into the inner workings of Dragon Naturally Speaking and change the command to “capital” but I’ve never had the time. In eight years I’ve never had the time.